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Following an anecdote that a colleague who is a mother told me, she made me reflect about what we as parents give to our children and what we really receive.
As a general rule, parents usually give our children everythingWe even try to give them more than we really can, but do they do the same with us?
It seems that we have an established belief among parents that tries to think that we have to give everything to our children and that we do not have to receive the same for that. And thanks to this anecdote I reflected on the subject and came to the conclusion that, we must teach our children that know how to give and receive in identical or similar proportions. At least in terms of effort, delicacy and dedication that we put into them.
Many times we think that if we don't give them everything, they can get frustrated, but do they think about our frustrations? I invite you to reflect on the subject the least.
The situation that I am going to describe refers to the problems that this mother has for lack of interesteffort and dedication that your 14-year-old son shows before studying in this course.
This mother was aware of the son repeating over and over again that he study, make an effort, do homework, etc…. something that sounds familiar to all parents with school-age children.
The son of this classmate has good conditions for learning, he is intelligent, but it is difficult or does not want to start studying. (Zero effort)
Every day he has to remind him to study: “study, study, that soon you will have the exams”.
The son does not stop making excuses such as: "they changed my exam, I already know that, I will start later, I studied at the institute",
All actions and decisions have their consequence. And the consequence of the son was to get a 5 on the math test that both he and the mother knew had 2 weeks ahead to prepare. The mother during those two weeks insisted, the son ignoring the warnings and mother's advice. The fact of getting a 5 from the mother generated a lot of anger and she decided to act looking for a confrontation that her son understood and felt the same as she was feeling.
At the weekend the boy asked his mother if she could please make him macaroni Bolognese, one of his favorite dishes and apparently one of the ones the mother cooks best. Then the mother came up with the confrontation she would make to her son.
The mother replied that she would make macaroni for the weekend, and she could see the boy's face little less than licking his lips.
The next day, when everyone is sitting at the table, the mother puts the plate of macaroni for her son: "Here, your macaroni bolognese", and plants a plate of macaroni in his nose. simply cooked macaroni, that is to say the white macaroons.
The boy reacts angrily: "Mom, what is this? They are not Bolognese, they are just macaroni, they look disgusting, these are not yours"….
To which she responds:
- These are the 5 macaroons, the same grade you got on the math test.
- Macaroni of 6 are with tomato.
- Macaroni of 7 are with minced meat.
- Macaroni for 8 are with Parmesan cheese.
- Macaroni of 9 are with oregano.
- Macaroni of 10 are au gratin.
And he added: "I have made the plate with the same love, effort and dedication that you have taken the math exam, which I insisted you study so much about. Therefore we have both done the same. "
The son was left with his mouth open and speechless, he had a confrontation and an important awareness, since he had just felt the same anger that the mother felt. And this confrontation will surely make you act accordingly.
We adults are used to making our children's days always 10. Let's try to change from time to time, to make them experience the feeling that they receive incomplete things, that is, fewer privileges.
That story is aimed at a reflection - action, to create a reaction.
You can read more articles similar to What would happen if we gave our children the same that we received from them, in the category of Conduct on site.