5 questions to know if your child does not trust himself

5 questions to know if your child does not trust himself

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If our son is shy, he struggles to make friends ... or does not participate in class, is it because of his self-esteem? Many times we have this eternal doubt: if I encourage him, I help him to lose his fear to speak his mind, to participate ... I value him, I applaud his achievements ... why then do he not trust himself?

The first thing, you must be sure that your child has low self-esteem. How? Answer these 5 questions to find out if your child does not trust himself.

Would you like to know if your child really has low self-esteem? We propose a test or some questions to find out if your child really doesn't trust himself:

1. Does your child have trouble making friends?
Children with self-esteem problems, who do not trust themselves, have less social skills and have a much harder time engaging in conversation with children and people they do not know. It is not that they distrust these people, but rather that they distrust their possibilities to make a friendship. For this reason, it is difficult for them to take the first step: they are afraid of failing, of making a fool of themselves, of not achieving that friendship ... They are afraid of what the other will say and think, of being too impulsive, of not finding the right words. .. And all those fears paralyze him. They prefer not to try ... in case they fail. See how many thoughts go through his head before taking a first step and talking to another child! It is not easy for him. The goal, of course, is to help them take the first step, to lose the fear of 'failing' in that small attempt at rapprochement. Nothing happens for not talking too much, or talking too much ... or nothing happens for stumbling. It is what you should try to understand.

2. Does the fear of public speaking paralyze you?
Yes, children who do not trust themselves are unable to speak in public. It's not fear ... it's panic! The fear of making a fool of yourself or being speechless can outweigh your desire to say something. So many times, the child with low self-esteem knows an answer in class, and would be able to do an honors dissertation, but doesn't. He remains speechless and for nothing in the world would he raise his hand to go out and speak in front of his classmates, with dozens of eyes fixed on his face, on his gestures, on his blinking ... To help him overcome this, you can use games in family and little by little try to get him to participate in group games with friends, acquaintances. Games like 'mime', 'marionettes', making a theater ... are games that will help you loosen up and realize that speaking in public has many advantages.

3. Is it hard for you to ask for things?
Children with low self-esteem prefer to do everything on their own before asking for help. It is very difficult for them to take that step, to ask for something, because they think that others will believe that he has problems, that he is 'useless', that he does not know how to do something ... An insecure child is usually also a very demanding child with himself, who wants having everything under control, that he wants to constantly demonstrate to others what he is capable of doing. Therefore, before ordering something, he is silent. For example, in this case, a child with low and insecure self-esteem is able to put up with the urge to pee for a whole day before asking a teacher to help him ... In this case, you have to work with him this appearance and make him understand that we all need the help of others, and that this does not make us weaker.

4. Do you constantly doubt what you did?
I mean ... when your child does something, do they have doubts about whether or not they did it? For example, they are questions of doubts related to low self-esteem when your child constantly asks himself, did I put the gym clothes in the backpack or not? Did I do my homework or didn't I do it? ... and you have to constantly check if you did it or not. These are clear signs that you don't trust yourself. Once or twice, they may be absent-minded or forgetful, but if it's common ... it may be a lack of self-confidence.

5. Do you constantly ask for the approval of the elders? It's one thing to ask for approval from time to time for something, especially if you're learning, like: Did I do my homework right? Did I tie my shoelaces properly? ... and quite another to ask for approval for absolutely everything: have I answered correctly? I have behaved well? Have I drawn the house well? There are even children who every few seconds constantly look at their parents when they are doing homework, playing games, helping with some task ... in search of an approving glance, and only for fear that they are not doing it well. Children with low self-esteem are constantly thinking about 'what others will say about me' 'what my parents will think of me'. They do not realize that the opinion that really matters is that he has of himself.

Of course, you can apply all these questions to yourself. They serve to reflect on the confidence we have in ourselves. Remember that for your child to have a healthy self-esteem, you must first heal yours.

You can read more articles similar to 5 questions to know if your child does not trust himself, in the category of Self-esteem on site.

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