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Surely you remember when you were little and someone told you that if you didn't go to bed soon, 'the bogeyman would come' or maybe 'the bogeyman' and take you with him, because he was the 'bad man' who took children who did not fall asleep soon.
Although 'the bogeyman' was also that evil being that would take the children that they ignored their parents, no matter what was canceling the children's personality ... this is educating with fear. Fear does not serve to educate, fear scares to impose rules. But children grow up and begin to realize that this 'bogeyman' does not exist.
But it is not necessary to go so far in memory to find parents and teachers who use fear to educate today as well. There are many adults who educate in fear based on threats, such as: 'If you don't do what I tell you, I will punish you', 'If you don't do your homework you will repeat the year and you will be with the little ones', with three-year-olds', 'As long as you don't obey me, you won't be able to go out to play', 'If you don't have good grades, forget about the pool in summer' ... and so the examples can be endless.
To educate in the middle is to annul the child's criteria, it is not to give him a choice, it is not to give him the opportunity that they themselves feel the need to do things and therefore to be responsible. To educate in fear is to annul the personality of the children and that they are not able to make decisions for themselves.
Education is not 'obey what I tell you', adults must teach children to make decisions, to know what is best at all times and to understand why this is the case, to know that if they do not act correctly they will have negative consequences and if they do not want to act that way they will see the consequences, but without the need to fear, simply let them know what is there. Some examples would be: 'If you don't eat what you have on the table you will go to bed hungry', 'If you don't do your homework tomorrow it will be difficult for you to learn your lesson', etc.
1. Because nullifies the personality of children and it doesn't teach them how life goes. They need natural consequences to know how to act.
2. Because they are not told what is expected of them, they are simply expected to obey, turning them into submissive beings without their own criteria.
3. Why the threats they do not give confidence or security in the family, something essential for child development.
4. Because fear cancels communication between parents and children, considerably affecting the emotional bond.
You can read more articles similar to Why fear does not serve to educate, in the category of Punishments on site.
